Frustrating
To respond to Charley’s blog about Children’s hospital, not only is this very frustrating, but they didn’t even spell her name right (Lailea K Wesley??? It’s not like we didn’t write this down for them! K?!). We are doing exercises with our little daughter based on the two seconds of information our physical therapist gave us. We don’t know how long to do this or what to do. There was no example or practice session. We are just moving her gently and hoping this will help since WE CAN’T FREAKIN’ GET GOOD PHYSICAL OR OCCUPATIONAL THERAPY AT ALL ANYTIME SOON WHICH SHE DESPERATELY NEEDS ACCORDING TO HER DOCTOR AND THE SPECIALIST!!!
The one good thing about our physical therapy session (besides getting “approval” for further sessions) was the waiting room. There were so many kids with problems. I was told by our pediatrician that I would cry when I walked in there and saw them. I was amazed I didn’t. I didn’t see the kids as much as the moms. They weren’t grieving anymore. This was normal for them. They praised their kids’ improvements and were smiling, actually smiling. One mom was giving me advice on breast feeding in public and another was trying to get her kid to leave the bouncy trampoline after his session. They were strong and I bet they started out like me, lost and confused and hurting.
I love her so much. I love her so much it hurts. I love her so much it hurts and I have to stop looking at her.
I have never sang so much in my life. Everything is a song. None of my songs rhyme. Her two favorites are sung to the tunes of other songs. One is Beyonce’s song, Irreplaceable, “I can have another poo in a minute, in fact it will be here in a minute, Daddy.” and the other to the tune of the song, There’s Just Something About That Name, “Laelie, Laelie, Laelie, there’s just something about that name. Unspellable, Unpronounceable, Mass Confusion. Disney won’t sell you anything. Laelie, Laelie, Laelie, Let all Heaven and Earth proclaim. Kings and kingdoms will all pass away, but there’s something about that name.” Of course with that last song she likes the original best. 
I love to hold my baby girl up to my face. She smells wonderful. I hold her like I did in one of the pictures on this site. Note: I had been crying and throwing up for five hours after surgery in that picture… and no make up. Thus you’ll forgive the appearance.
It’s so crazy to have a daughter. The first time Charley said, “My daughter” while on the phone with some insurance clown, I almost corrected him. Then it sunk in that she was in fact ours. We have life. It’s amazing.
