I had this dream

I had this dream where I had just had my daughter and the nurse brought her in the room and explained that she was handicapped. Then she gave me a choice. I could choose to switch places with my daughter and have the arthrogryposis instead. The nurse explained that no one would judge me if I choose not to do that and it would be much easier on a baby who is flexible and hasn’t known any differently than it would be on an adult. As she spoke there was a woman being wheeled down the hall in a wheel chair. She had a bouncing, wide-eyed baby in her lap. The woman’s head was tilted to the side and she was drooling. Her eyes were a blank stare. Her husband pushed the wheel chair while crying. It was kind of like a horror movie. That woman took the mental disability from her baby. I looked down at Laelie and it didn’t take any time to decide to take her pain away. Like magic, her hands and legs stretched out and she sucked her thumb for the first time. I was so happy. Then I tried to pick her up and I couldn’t. My wrists bent my hands backwards and I couldn’t lift my arms to hold her. My legs were pretzel-like and I couldn’t walk over to her bassinet. The nurse handed her to me and I couldn’t touch her, but just put my cheek up to hers. She was hungry and I couldn’t hold her to my breast. The nurse shook her head and said, “I was afraid of this. Why do mothers always have to take their child’s place?”

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