Archive for April, 2008

Gram Louise

Wednesday, April 2nd, 2008

As much as April Fools was a wonderful distraction, nothing feels as good as when Gram was with us. In this old picture, I remember all the happy times  with Gram. The baby in the middle is me.  Gram Louise is  on the right. On the left is Grandma Lucy, in front is my cousin Amy (or Jennie, but I’m pretty sure Amy) Lora and on the far left is my dad. I miss my grandmas so much.  The world  would be so much better if these two women were still in it.

Gram, I miss you so much it hurts. I’m so angry you never got to hold Laelie because of where you were taken. So angry you were hurt.  So angry, even though I know you  wouldn’t want that.  

You would deal with Laelia’s condition with grace and patience. I’m not one fifth the woman you were. I wish I could love like you did. I wish I could forgive like you could. You were the closest thing to perfect that  humanity will ever achieve. And you were mine.

This hug’s for you.

I’m a bad person!

Wednesday, April 2nd, 2008

Okay I’m SORRY!!! :) I had no idea that people actually had experiences where they thought boys were girls and girls were boys. I guess after Oprah’s guest, a pregnant “man,” (not an April Fools hoax) was being advertised, people were more open to believing gender-bending news.

I was trying to go for unbelievable, not meaning to actually fool anyone. It was a toss up between Laelia being a boy, Laelia getting her tongue pierced,  Laelia reading the newspaper or Laelia being conceived by aliens. Apparently, I chose poorly.

I had meant to be overly unrealistic after the reveal (“Laelia is a boy”), but failed at that. My dad informed me that so much about Laelia’s diagnosis is so rare  that people don’t know what to expect. Plus a minority of medical professionals have been apathetic or incompetent in our experience. So I guess this was not as much of a stretch as I had thought.

There was one time when I was a kid that I got my dad really good. He had this truck   that he LOVED. He carpeted the back and installed speakers in the cab himself. He washed it and waxed it and admired it all the time. Well one April Fools Day of yore, my sister and I  (although I’ll take most of the blame) decided to steal dad’s truck while he was at work.  Being too young for a driver’s lisence  I had to  enlist Grandpa Dean to help drive it to his place. He agreed, but warned us, “You’d better keep me out of this!” :) Well when dad got home I told him very straight-faced that someone had come and asked for the keys. And of course I described some stranger. I explained that he came around asking about the truck, and when I informed him that dad wasn’t home, he  told me that he was my dad’s best friend and needed the keys. I said I thought it was weird that he didn’t even know dad’s name.

I’ve never seen my dad almost have a heart attack before.  I did reveal the prank after dad freaked out  but  before he called the police.

Apparently I didn’t learn my lesson. I got into work today and found that the blog had fooled two co-workers  who let me have it. Not only that, but I have received six phone calls  and several emails from concerned people praying for our family.

I laughed  with most of them and apologized to the people I actually worried.  Did I mention  I’m a bad person?  After getting over the insurmountable guilt, I did actually feel very touched by some of the people who were there for our family. Although the fact that lots of people didn’t doubt for a second that I couldn’t tell a  pee-pee from a vajayjay  has me worried. :) Some of you were very nice regardless.

In a few years we’ll all look back on this and laugh (right?). Ah, honey, there was this time when you were six months old that  your mother put out the word that you were a boy.  That’s why there’s all that hate mail  in your baby book.   :)

But  just so you all know, the only time I presented false information was April 1st. Every other blog is accurate, including, sadly, the news of Gram’s passing which some thought might also be misinformation. And I promise that I will only report  our experiences  honestly for now on…

…unless it’s April 1st.

Then you may  discover Laelia was conceived by aliens. :)

Disability focus

Wednesday, April 2nd, 2008

I’m a girl, honest!  

I realize that yesterday’s April Fools blog confused some people. No, there is no official male-determining test that requires  peeing while standing. :) The blog was  inspired by two things: baby often  being mistaken for a boy even with earrings and  people (including us) focusing too much on her disability. Plus, as most of  you know, we thought she was a boy until she was born. We never  could get a gender-confirming ultrasound because of her AMC.  I didn’t actually go  to any doctor’s offices yesterday; I stayed home talking to family about grandma. But I did learn one thing from this blog experience, and that is to  give your  husband a heads up before you publish something like that. He had no idea what people were talking about.  SORRY HONEY!


Doctors focused on disability overlook the basics

Tuesday, April 1st, 2008

Laelia or Lucas?

So often the doctors seeing Laelie have focused so much on her  AMC that they have failed to notice the person under the disability. I have watched a medical professional work every one of Laelie’s joints while writing so many notes, but not ask one single question about her health or progress. No one cares to notice that her hair is  coming in or her  strawberry face mark is fading  or even  that we pierced her ears!

But the biggest  oversight of all hit us today.

Baby went in for her check up after therapy and the nurse asked if Laelia was a boy or a girl.  We told her that Laelie was in fact a girl, thus the ridiculously unpronounceable feminine name.  The nurse gave us a funny look before getting the doctor. When the doctor came in he asked who had diagnosed Laelia with AMC. We told him that it was done while we were still at the hospital. We had all sorts of information about that to give him.  Then he asked us who wrote up her  information for the birth certificate. I wasn’t sure since things like  her length or a foot print  couldn’t be done for it because of the AMC.  We were so focused on her disability that  we forget all the other stuff. “Well,” he said somberly, “there’s one more thing they overlooked. Laelia is a boy.”

A boy?! Charley and I had wondered about that when changing  diapers, but being our first baby we had no idea what to expect! I couldn’t believe no one had ever told me what my baby’s gender was!  Everyone was  just too busy fussing over  baby’s  diagnosis.

The nurse empathized with us. I guess this isn’t the first time a baby has been thought to be the oposite  gender for months, especially if the baby had some sort of disability that distracted the doctors.  Apparently there is a test they can do to make absolutely sure if the baby is male, but since Laelie has AMC in her legs she cannot take the test because it requires standing and peeing at the same time.

I’m just glad that the first of April also happens to be Make-really-especially-sure-your-baby-is-actually-a-girl Day. I don’t know what we would have done if no one had checked! How foolish!


Happy April Fools Day!