But the one thing a mom does NOT have to apologize for is something over which she had no control. We cannot change what we don’t know. If you had had any idea that such a problem existed, you would have moved heaven and earth to prevent it from harming Laelia. And you know what else? Your wonderful mom would not have had to apologize for giving you a womb that didn’t work exactly as you thought it might, because she didn’t do that on purpose, either.

That said, you go ahead and feel crummy about this from time to time ’cause that’s just the way good moms are, and because you don’t let it eat at you too often or too long. There has never been a serious heart wound that didn’t have to be grieved over and over and over. Every time we think one is conquered, we have days of illness, sleep deprivation, too much stress, annoying people, and ridiculously absurd red tape twisted and tangled until BANG, the scab is scraped off, and we realize the wound hasn’t really healed, we had just figured out how to live with it for awhile. The best thing, though, is that as time passes we get better at living with and profiting from our life wounds. Uh… or maybe it’s just that even more pile up and we can only deal with so many at one time????

Many hugs and much love,
That other Auntie Linda.

I’m so sorry you are having to carry this around every day. I have a vague idea what you are talking about-my mom told me that every time a kid teased me or I had to have a surgery, she would torture herself knowing that she passed the disease on to me.

But honey, you didn’t cause this. It happened, but not by your will. Man, I so wish I could wave a magic wand and make it all better. It saddens me so much that I can’t. But my shoulder is always ready for you-cry away anytime. My ear is always ready-vent, scream, moan.

You will get through this. It doesn’t feel like it. But you will. And for my part, I will do everything I can to help lighten your load, brighten your day, and just make ya laugh!

Love ya,
Beth