Laelia Sky Wesley

Me and my church peeps!

Laelia holds court at Sunday brunch. 

I have continued to be impressed by the support we’ve received from the little church down the road.  We have just really been shown kindness and generosity since the first time we stepped through the front door after determining that my pregnant tummy needed some churchin’. :) Actually one of the first people I met was Brenda, who through some preternatural ability asked if I was pregnant even though most of my family had no idea by this point. I wondered aloud on the car ride home if I looked glowing, fat, terrified or if someone finally guested why I was gracing a church’s pews for the first time in a long while. Actually I’m surprised they didn’t kick me out after my pregnancy hormones and constant all-day morning sickness for 17 straight weeks made me totally irascible.

Then there’s something about grieving the loss of a fully-functioning child where a church can either alleviate grief or complicate it. In this case, my new-found church was a balm. Still I wasn’t ready to reach out for help until recently. I have understood for a while that the government was not going to help me get into Together We Grow. In fact, the system had changed in the last few years to exclude children like mine from getting help with almost anything, especially day care. I have heard, “She has fallen through the cracks of the system,” so many times in the last few months by so many sympathetic people who work within the system itself. It got to where we would get evaluated by a new program and immediately start to wonder what stupid technicality they would use to kick us out. (Note about her muscle clinic on Wednesday: It turns out she needs to be one of forty muscle conditions to qualify to stay in the clinic. We’re hoping amyoplasia qualifies her.) So when I finally decided that I cannot do this anymore, and I was out of ideas, I barely had to reach out before people responded.

I wrote a note about needing help with Laelia’s stretches in the afternoons (one of the biggest things I was counting on Together We Grow to provide), and put my note in the offering plate at church. A few days later the church secretary/office admin, also known as Chelsea, responded. Not by saying she’d pray for me, but by coming over three days last week and doing Laelia’s stretches and PT in the afternoons!

Also last week I emailed Phyllis from church about possibly being Laelia’s respite provider, since she had experience as a social worker and I thought her kids were adorable. The next thing I know she’s applying to the YMCA and putting Laelia’s name as the recipient.

Then two weeks ago (I’m not going in any order here), I met with Rana who invited me to a workout/Bible study on Wednesdays with daycare provided. Brenda (the same as mentioned above) came over to my apartment to learn Laelie’s stretches so she could do them while I’m working out!

So last Wednesday I worked out for the first time in a billion years. :) I felt relaxed knowing my baby was getting her stretches, and I wasn’t going to have to do them! When I went to pick her up, Brenda told me that when Laelie started to cry (and remember she cries 100% of the time with stretches), all of Lisa’s kids who were also in the nursery started to sing to her to make her feel better. Awwww! They also walked up to her and said, “Don’t worry baby, we love you.” It’s kids like those who are going to be sympathetic to people with differences. And kids like those that will make kids like mine not feel so isolated.

Then a few days ago, Chuck and David came over (bringing Chinese food) and installed another AC unit in our living room that’s removeable so our apartment manager won’t fuss.

Then today Lisa gave us a cool toy to help Laelie with her PT. (Lisa has been amazing ever since Laelia was born.) And Michele gave us a whole bag of baby oatmeal (I will never have to buy baby oatmeal as long as I live) since Lacy is mastering solids (what Charley calls “people food”) :) much faster than Laelie. She also gave us some toy instraments to help with Laelia’s OT. And also several other people asked about the baby.

I’m trying to remember the conversations Charley and I had about moving back to Placerville, since we at least had my family up there and really only a few friends down here. Now it’s like we have this amazing support group and I don’t know what we’d do without them.  

I’m so happy my pregnancy hormones (notice I put all blame on the pregnancy) didn’t scare anyone away.        

This entry was posted on Sunday, June 8th, 2008 at 9:18 pm and is filed under god, hooray. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.