This has been a week of babies! Laelia got to hold a newborn for the first time this week. Here is little Jane Anne Marie in Laelia’s lap giving her a well-deserved raspberry. :)

Mommy always tells me my face will stick that way.

Tell me I have more hair… right?!

When I set  baby Jane Anne  gently onto Laelia’s legs, Laelie started to arch her back to try and swing her arm over the baby. It was so cute. Of course if I had allowed it the next thing she would have done would have been to grab whatever she could in a fist and then swing her arm again and again beating the stuffing out of poor Jane Anne. Believe me, I’ve seen this little one with our cats. :)

Next we visited Megan and John on Sunday (Megan’s due date) to see if her baby was coming. Even though there were contractions all day, they were never consistently closer than about six to ten minutes apart. Laelia is still waiting for her tummy friend to come out and play. We did see some tummy acrobatics, but no baby. :)


Hanging with the girls…

Whoa! Where did you come from?

Then Cara and Paul came over and we got to see baby Isaac again. This time, though, Laelie got to see him up close. Actually she started to head butt him! Click here to see the video of some loving headbutts. :) The only difference between headbutting Isaac and headbutting her teddy bears is that the  teddy bears don’t try to grab your face when you’re headbutting them. :) When we first got there, Laelie was making those “I want it!” cries that she does when she sees a kitty. But this time she wanted the baby. We did put their hands together at one point. That seemed to make her happy. :)

Then Tammi and Rodney showed up with their tummy baby who is not due until October 4th (day after Laelie’s birthday). I think with a room full of people it was nice for Laelie to see Tammi since she spends lots of time with her. She seemed to be thinking, “Phew, a familiar face,” when she saw Tammi, and then went noiselessly into her arms. :)

As far as I’m doing, it’s weird to be surrounded by all these babies and knowing not one of them will be like mine. Actually I could spend a month in a hospital full of babies and not one would be like mine. Sometimes I forget what normal movement looks like and am amazed at what my friend’s newborns can do that Laelie will never be able to do. She will move, but she will use technology to help. Of course by the same token, there are a lot of things that Laelie will do that none of her new friends will be able to do. Like move a wheelchair with her head or have  cool gadgets or get to go play at a therapist’s office once a week. It reminds me of when my friends had braces, and even though braces are not fun, I sure was  jealous! :) They looked cool and I wanted them too. Maybe it will be like that.

I did notice myself taken aback when I walked into Sarah’s hospital room and people were celebrating instead of grieving. It was amazing! But at the same time, I had not realized that I was subconsciously gearing myself up to comfort instead of cheer. I’m chalking it up to not having been in a hospital room since my experience. The smells and sights were the same. There was even a white board and one of those portable bassinets and the  IVs, etc. like my room had. At one point when talking about the C-section  incision and how it’s hard to laugh, I mentioned how it was hard to sob, but immediately retracted that and changed it to “sneeze” when I realized just how depressing that sounded. But that’s all I did in  my hospital room  was hold  a pillow tight over my stomach while sobbing. And darn it that hurt! And I wasn’t able to blow my nose because of the  incision so  I mopped my face with washcloths. So now  I’m thankful that I have some good hospital/C section memories even if they are vicarious ones. :) Yeay! That means a great deal to me.

One great thing about support groups is that you meet people in your situation and you feel like this is normal. It happens that the  people who find my website have just found out their baby has some long unpronounceable condition so they google it and find me. So a lot of my new mom friends have special babies who don’t move much. Now I have my San Diego friends all having babies and it’s weird that they are  all so wiggly. But I wouldn’t want them any other way. It’s just a jolt, like remembering again oh yeah we’re special.

But I have deeply enjoyed holding and cuddling Laelie’s new friends. It brings me so much joy. I love it! It makes me want another one. (Note the terrified look on Charley’s face. :)) Knowing I can feel a pull of love for some little one who is not even related to me makes me certain that I could deeply love an adopted baby. It makes me excited again for the family God will give me, no matter what it  will look  like.

Oh and speaking of babies, we thought Laelia was a little chunky because she lacked the muscles to “work off” the weight, right? Well we were wrong. Grandma just unearthed this picture of me at  Laelia’s age. :) Now we know whose genes to blame. :)


One Response to “Babies!!!”

  1. Amy says:

    I have been reading your blog from the very first day. I have cried with you and rejoiced with you. I have started to leave a response so many times, but then felt silly that what I had to say was so dumb, so I would chicken out and delete my words….Today, I am going to be brave and say, “Hi..” And, “Thank you for sharing your heart, for your transparency, and for allowing perfect strangers into your life….I am richer because of it…”

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