Endurance

After posting the video of Laelia putting on her sunglasses I had a lot of quality discussions with different people  about  Laelia’s videos.  But let me start over from the beginning.

My husband and I decided long ago  that this blog would be honest. That’s why it sometimes  has a dark edge to it with anger, fear or  doubt. Then other times it’s exciting–with new accomplishments and  naked joy!  If a subject can’t be shared honestly, it is left out of this blog.

After the sunglasses video I realized that  I have not always met my standard of honesty in  the videos  I post when they only  show a victorious  end result.  In true Hollywood style, I have chosen quality, brevity and beauty over reality. There were several attempts by Laelia at donning sunglasses that ended in failure and tears before I caught that one video I shared with the world. In fact when someone commented on how Laelia never complains, based on what they had seen in her videos, I had to admit that she did, in fact,  complain.  A lot!  These things are not easy for her to do. Then to my surprise this person said she’d love to see those videos too! It always overwhelms me when I realize that people love my daughter even when she’s not the poster child for grace through trial.

In this vein I have a beautiful video of my daughter mastering something that has eluded her for a long time now: climbing over a stair. It’s a  video I wouldn’t normally share since  Laelia’s  hair  is a mess, her several attempts end in failure and she cries her heart out in frustration. But  I think through the gritty reality, you’ll come to  know a little lady who  persists; she tries  again when her  energy is low and her weak muscles are screaming at her. And I hope you feel with me the need to run up and help her as  the camera inches closer.  It’s downright mommy torture to let her succeed or fail on her own! I’m  actually crying as I write this!

So here’s the  video. Just click on the  picture below to see it. The picture was taken right after I finished filming. She announced, “I tired now,” then fell backwards and made fake snoring noises. :) I like this picture because it captures what she was too shy to show while being filmed: joy, pride  and exhaustion.

10 Responses to “Endurance”

  1. Chelsea Powell says:

    Hooray!!!!!! What a champ! I’m so happy to see this. Give her a big hug and high five from me :)

  2. Kiersten says:

    This was amazing to watch. We have experienced practically the exact same moments with Ryan…moments when it would be so easy just to “do it for them” but seeing Laelia persevere and succeed is simply beautiful.
    Yay, Laelia! WE LOVE YOU!

  3. Carolyn says:

    That was SO powerful! And honestly, I think seeing her frustration and pain, even though it was hard to watch (I can’t imagine how hard it was to be so patient and encouraging the whole time and not try to do it for her!) made the end result that much sweeter. That video is going to be so amazing for her to be able to look back on later in life and see how much you guys have believed in and encouraged her ability to be independent. What an amazing little girl you’ve raised!

  4. Annita says:

    I love her determination. I was moving for her. Great hair!!! Good camera work Mom.

  5. thainamu says:

    You’ve done a good job nurturing determination and persistence, attitudes which will serve her well.

  6. Anonymous says:

    I can relate to this sooo much!!! That’s like the summary of my life story :) Awesome!! Do you have more videos like this?? Just curious :)

  7. Laura says:

    This is great!! Good job letting her learn and figure it out on her own, that’s so important :)

  8. Baggins says:

    I think you’d better be careful with this type of behavior, Alexis. If you’ll accept the long-studied parenting advice of a nearly confirmed bachelor, your technique in dealing with these situations appears downright dangerous.

    Refusing to drop the camera and rush to her assistance flies in the face of long-standing practice in the rearing of special-needs children. If you would only help her with every obstacle, Laelia would learn that she can depend on you whenever she encounters difficulty. Instead, you’re teaching her that her mom might not always be there for her.

    This may seem innocent enough when she is young, but think of the ramifications further down the road. Instead of being fully reliant on you, she will gradually become more and more independent- functioning as if she doesn’t need you. Over time, your role as the nurturing mother will be undermined and, if you’re not careful, she may, as an adult, think of you more as a friend than a care-giver.

    She will ultimately function entirely on her own in society- thinking for herself and perhaps even establishing a life of her own where you only see her, in person, on holidays. Then, when the time comes that you pass on, she may miss you, but will be able to continue as if your absence isn’t the complete and total end of her world.

    In other words- well done, Laelia. Keep up the good work, Alexis.

  9. Bethany says:

    Oh, sweet Laelia (and brave Mommy not to go rushing to help her)! I loved the part where she said “I’m frustrating” and finally decided “I can do it.” She sure could, and it’s amazing the kind of strength you all share as a family!

  10. Lauren B says:

    I agree. Seeing her frustration makes the end result even that much more beautiful. Your heart breaks watching her try SO hard and get so upset (really, don’t we all feel like that inside when we are upset?) I got all teary when she said “I’m frustration” lol. It makes you want to cheer for her victory all the more!!!!!!! GO LAE!!!!

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