Laelia is super smart!

Laelia has always seemed to have above-average intelligence. Of course I think that because I’m her mom, but more and more teachers and professionals are agreeing with me. Laelia started out with a speech delay if you can believe it. It turns out this was caused by a lack of sensory input when her little body could not interact with her environment. Kinesthetic learning is very important in those  formative  years to develop speech. The body works together in mysterious ways (which I’ll get to more later)! Once we started bringing her toys up to her mouth (where all those sensory nerves are) and doing exercises with her to encourage movement, her speech caught up! And not too long afterwards she surpassed her peers!

She’s been going to preschool since she was two years old. It started at two hours, twice a week and now it’s up to four hours a day, five days a week. Laelia loves to learn. She loves to spell letters and learn songs. She loves school. And her teachers love her. I always get glowing reports. Even Laelia’s doctor says she should be a very smart lawyer or professor when she grows up. I believe it.

Lately Laelia has shown us even more abilities than before. It started out when her teacher started doing flashcards with her. The flashcards are suppose to help her be able to sight read. But without being told what the words were, she was getting them the very first time! She went from sight reading less than five words to sight reading over 30 words!

So we’ve been really impressed with Laelia obviously. She’s the smartest kid alive in our opinion. But one of her teachers told me that it probably wasn’t sight reading so much as memorizing. To test it out they didn’t show her the cards and just asked her what the next word was and she told them correctly every time. The teacher then concluded that Laelia just memorized the list of words. Still memorizing is pretty impressive so I was still thrilled. Then the teacher mixed up the cards and without showing Laelia what they were asked her what the next card was. But to everyone’s surprise, she told her correctly! Not just once, but ten times in a row!

Next her teacher started to get out flash cards with pictures on them: stars, hearts, circles, squares. Without showing Laelia the card they asked her what was on the other side. She got every one of them right except she called the picture of a club (like on a deck of cards) a “flower.” One of the teachers laughed and said it was a joke, but the other one gave us a number to call and told us that Laelia was very special.

The number we called was for a class on neural cognitive processes. It cost money. And it was complicated. To quote them from their website here in San Diego: “Empathy processes can be explored within a three-level model distinguishing neuronal, cognitive and intra-psychic operating levels. Cognitive and intra-psychic processes need not to be collapsed. Neural systems involved in empathy are described through neuroimaging and event-related potential (ERP) studies. On the cognitive level, empathy is threefold: procedural, semantic and biographical. Automatically activated since birth, procedural empathy processes are deeply enrooted in visuo-motor response capacities and responsible for automatic mimicry. These processes might rely on a prior sensori-motor contagion system.” Bla bla bla. This class was for extreme parents in my opinion, and worst of all, there was no childcare offered!

But these guys redirected me (after waiting on hold FOREVER) to the people who dealt with preschool children, and finally we spoke with Dr. Prevorkien. She said that Laelia qualified to have a free brain scan! I told her we were really busy with Charley’s recovery from surgery and everything, so she offered to do it for free (yay!) and out of her office. I made sure my husband was comfortable at home and then loaded Laelia into her car seat and headed over to her office. The brain scan machine was really cool!

Sorry I’m taking this with my camera and you can see a glare on the screen.

Apparently all the orange areas of Laelia’s brain are working a lot better than they should be. Dr. Prevorkien said this exact thing was linked to psychic ability and can be exercised for maximum effectiveness.

So for the last week we’ve been enrolled in Dr. Prevorkien’s preschool and Laelia is doing really well. Laelia has been practicing hard and is now a Level 2 Laser  Lotus. Besides reading cards Laelia can now also talk to animals.

“Hello Mr. Lizard!”

“Hello! …We are your overlords!!!”

Next we’re signing her up to do a hotline and make us some money. Not going to let my little psychic genius go to waste!

Happy April Fools Day everyone!


5 Responses to “Laelia is super smart!”

  1. Linda Wesley says:

    Level 2 Laser Lotus!!!

  2. Samantha says:

    At first I was “Hey, interesting…” then “wait a second…” and started getting suspicious. Just about the time I got to Level 2 Laser Lotus, I was rolling on the bed laughing and happy that my friends love Community, too. :D

  3. tam says:

    darn you alexis you get me every year!

  4. Joann smith says:

    As I was reading about Laelia and being so amazed when suddenly, before I got to the end, I remembered thinking this morning”no one has pulled an April Fool’s joke on me”. So, finally this year I wasn’t completely gullible all the way to the end of your story! You really had me convinced though because I really think Laelia is super smart and so are you for coming up with these elaborate, original stories every year!!!

  5. Danielle Cervantes Stephens says:

    You did it again! I was reading your post over brunch and told my husband, “Oh my goodness, you’ll never believe what Laelia’s up to now! She is just a-MAY-zing!” It wasn’t until the “Last Lotus” that I started to suspect anything–I mean, there are people who “see” things, after all!–and then remembered your annual AFD tradition. Good one! I think what makes these so believable is that they ride a fine line between fact and fiction. It was so easy for me to think that Laelia was a super genius!

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